Monday, November 7, 2011

seems right.

I'm watching that movie Julie and Julia on tv right now.
And it made me remember my good ol' blog.
I had completely forgotten about this!
It's only been a few months.
But I forgot it existed.
I suppose between my job taking me all over the place, the ending of my relationship, and the general busy-ness of life...this blog sorta took the backseat.
Life is bizarre right now.
Don't worry, you're not getting a big emo blog post.
But can I just say...people are crazy and life is crazy.
Phew.

Now, onto other things.
Theres about 50 or so days left until Christmas.
And that means CRAFT NATION is back.
Think ornaments, pillow covers, wreaths, trees, lights, candles, sparkle, etc. 
This is my favorite time of year.
And everyone says that.
But I'm serious.
I watch every single Christmas movie ever made between now and December 25th.
I mean, I've already watched Christmas With The Kranks on tv twice so far...and it's not even that good.
If Christmas was a person, I'd marry him.
If Christmas was a food, I'd get fat on it.
If Christmas was a scent, I would wear it every day.
I just love it for so many reasons.
Of course to celebrate the birth of Christ.
And the amazing life I've been blessed to live because of that.
Also because it brings my family to me.
It makes people nicer.
It's cozy.
It's warm.
It's glittery.
It's festive and busy.
It's fabulous.
And I do not care ONE BIT if we start celebrating it now before Thanksgiving.
Our world is hard.
And people just want something good and wholesome in their lives.
If the Christmas season can come a bit early and provide that, then bring it on...
now...before Thanksgiving...2 months away... I'm in.
So I'll try to post some fun things I'm crafting for the holidays here and there!
And maybe I'll post if something funny/fabulous happens in Chicago this weekend.

But between Facebook and Twitter...I just can't get motivated to blog all the time too.
That's just too much internet life for me right now.
Sorry.



Wednesday, September 28, 2011

because I got class

So the deal is this.
I want so badly to share this on Facebook.
But I can't.
Because it's a little on the inappropriate side.
So it's here instead.
Don't judge me.
I know it's extremely vulgar...
BUT IT'S HILARIOUS.
So find a bridge and get over it.





Getting Weird On Wednesday

Told ya I'd be back.
It's officially Weirdo Wednesday so get ready for your glimpse into my Facebook world.

                         
KF, thank you for this gem.  Seriously hysterical.  Especially for food addicts like me.



I think I'd be a little hesitant to make this my status.
I don't think I'd want people to know how excited I was about my cat and hamster meeting.
At 20, shouldn't this say "Today is the day my vodka meets my orange juice....what type of shenanigans will ensue?" 



Yikes. Well, good luck with that!?


Most of the time this girl's statuses make me really really concerned with the people she must know.
I mean, never once in my life have I been so bombarded by a girl's naked sluttiness that I need to let out my anger through my social networking sites........Hmmm.



You might be a computer geek if.......
you wish Google a Happy Birthday through Facebook......



This is why I'm hesitant to delete any friends.
They give me wayyyy too much material!
Have a good hump day fransss.

fancy seein' you here

Okay, I abandoned you.
And I'm sorry.
But it's actually because I've been really busy.
Which is better than the alternative.
So lame and boring that I don't have anything to blog about.
But here I am!
And I have pictures.
Ooh la la.
I finally finished my boudoir...
Well, since it's me, it'll always be a work in progress.
But still.
Here she blows...

Curtains on the window, flowers in my vases, the "love" pillow moved to my cube, etc.


THE WALL.  If I live here long enough...this entire wall will be covered with lovely things!


Helllooooo big chevron stripe and seafoam green pillows. Thank you for joining my bed.


Okay, the desk looks the exact same...so shoot me.   But don't you just love my elephant bookend??


Closeup of my Target curtains. The material is a bit heavy/formal,  yes, but I have been
looking forever and ever and a day (exactly) so I just needed something that I liked to block the sunny sunshine in the wee hours of the morn. OK?


Closeup of my bedside light.
This picture doesn't do my fab grey lamp justice.  Whatevs.


HA! I finally got the antlers I so desparately wanted! And they were FREE!
My boyfriend actually gave these to me. They are from the first buck he ever killed. Yes, he's a hunter.
He's from Kentucky...duhhhh.
Now I just need to figure out how to hang them.
Hmmmm.


Yay!
I hope you enjoyed the tour.
Comments, suggestions, hate mail welcome ;)
I'll upload pictures of the living room when it's also finished.
I had to send back my chair's black slipcover because it fit poorly so I'm on the hunt for another one.
I also need something to fill the walls.
Hmph...
Maybe I'll upload some pics and you can help me fill in the gaps!
Yes!

I'm going to TRY my best to get back to blogging too.
I love it, I really do.
So I promise to try.
Also, I realize blogs are better to look at with pictures so I gotta get used to this new iphone and take some pics of my vury vury fabulous and extraordinary life.
Real life friends...you must help me with this.

Good to be back.
T
T
Y
L



Monday, August 15, 2011

we're just 2 girls and we're having a good time...

It's all happening in Lexington tonight.
The UK Legends are going to take on the Dominican National team.
Coach Joe B. Hall vs. Coach John Calipari.
In Rupp Arena.
The place is going to be insane.
I love my town for so many reasons but on basketball days...it's the best.
Julie and I are going to her law school happy hour at Two Keys first
so we'll be nice and "warmed up" for the game.
I just can't wait to see all these guys come back and play!!!!
These 3 might make me cry
So, thats what I'm doing tonight.
If you're trying to find me between the hours of 5 and 10...sorry.
I'll be basking in the glory of basketball superstars.
No big deal.


Thursday, August 11, 2011

'net trendz

I am literally cracking up right now!
What is the internet doing? I can't...
There are all these trends right now that have me asking...why? and also...why not?
They're ridiculous, childish, dangerous, stupid, and hysterical.
Just my type.
Here's what I'm talking about...

PLANKING
this is Julie planking at an apartment in Chicago


CONE-ING
this is Whitney Port coneing at a fast food restaurant


OWLING
this is a random girl owling on a countertop


TOOTHPICKING
again, this is a random dude toothpicking in a garage


and possibly my favorite...
LEISURE DIVING
this guy is hilarious


Okay let me just be honest with you.
I want to do them all.
There, I said it.
I'm defenseless against my generation's moronic ideas!
I'm sure pics will be coming soon...
Sorry Mom.

Oh and I didn't forget about the house tour.
That was pretty anticlimatic huh?
My camera just blows so I'm going to try again today.
But you guys will all be busy leisure diving or coming up with some new trend like "praying mantis...ing" right?


**UPDATE**
Kathie Lee and Hoda were just talking about another trend that I missed.

HORSEMANNING.
making it appear that you are beheaded (this is a trend you do in pairs. yeehaw!)

I can't keep up, 2011. You move too quick.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

TA DA

House Tour.
Here is the house as it looks today...
Right side of kitchen

Left side of kitchen

Dining area with our cute new table. We love the big window! We still need either a baker's rack or a ladder shelf for that right wall and we need to hang that picture on the ground once we know how to place it...

Main floor bathroom. Pretty simple :) Julie hung her adorable paintings from Greece
 to pretty it up though so we love that!

My bedroom. The cube under my desk will be replaced with a desk chair this weekend.
Also, there will be a major pillow makeover coming soon. Think CHEVRON STRIPE TAKEOVER.

Opposite side of the bedroom.

My "Mood Wall" with clippings from pinterest and other inspiring websites. This will soon be replaced by an actual wall collage of pictures, my favorite notes, letters, art, maybe a horseshoe, maybe antlers...the options are endless! Hopefully I'll complete it this weekend with Dad's help :)

The corner of my bedroom. That picture will hang either on one of those walls or with the collage wall...not sure yet! And I'm hoping to find a different/taller furniture piece for my tv (and a new flat panel tv soon)!

My bathroom. I feel quite lucky blessed by God to have my own bathroom.  

My shower and wall sconces. That shower curtain looked much better at my previous place with the garden tub but it still works! Love those ruffles, even at 23.

Anyway, just thought it would be fun to show a tidbit of what the place looks like in the first few weeks of living here. We still have a LOT to do! I didn't take pictures of my roomie's bedrooms or the living room because it would be creepy to do that to Samantha and Julie without asking annnnnd 'cause the living room is a wreck until I get the rest of my furniture this weekend, pop on the sofa cover, buy some new lamps, decorate the walls, etc. Right now it's a couch, a chair, a coffee table, and a TV...aka no personality. I'll definitely post more pictures after this weekend. If you're wondering why so many projects are being completed this weekend it is because
a) my parents are visiting and they're handy dandy
b) it's the first weekend not filled with crazy activities
c) Julie and I are hoping to pop into some thrift/antique/junk stores in Lexington on Saturday, including one called "Cowgirl Attic" (think we could find a spot to owl in there?!?!)
d) it's about damn time to finish this shiz up!

Okay, blah blah blah, I talk too much.







Monday, August 8, 2011

can i get an amen?

Today I'm gonna give ya a little love.
And then a little hate.
Because I can't let things get too fluffy around here...

I LOVE that Sephora is having a sale online!
I mean, how often do you get a store's e-mail in your inbox and it's...USEFUL!?!
I get at least 3,489 e-mails a day from Sephora, Bed Bath, Victoria's Secret, JCrew, Asian Dating services (what??) etc. etc. etc. and usually...SNORE.
But Sephora has restored my faith in being on so many subscriber lists.
Because they had a sale.
And it was a beast.
My favorite Stila tinted moisturizer and my favorite Bare Escentuals mascara were both magically on major sale.
The makeup gods have spoken.
And I am officially in their good graces.
Check it out lovas.

Oh and while we're at it...does anyone have a cream blush or tint stick that they can't live without and would recommend to a sista from anotha mista? 
I'm not in the mood to correctly spell any words ending in "er" today, sorry.
I've heard good things about the Nars Multiple but I'd love some more suggestions.

Onto the next one.
I HATE how super short dresses are these days.
I mean, can a girl just find a hemline that allows for sitting down or...moving...at all?
Am I the only one that wants to wear a dress without putting on a show?
I just want something a few inches about the knee.
Is that too much to ask?
Well, apparently it is.
Stores seem to focus mostly on the under 5'3 crowd.
I'm 5'7 and it is a rare day on earth when I can find a cute dress that doesn't hang right below my tush.
NOT CUTE.
So to Forever 21, Lulus, H&M, boutiques in Lexington, etc:
Please teach your buyers to round up some dresses for girls like me who want to keep it a little ladylike but not have to put on a muumuu.
That'd be fab.
Love,
Meghan




Wednesday, August 3, 2011

can't stop myself

I've been on such a creative kick lately.
Like, I can't even write a to do list without wanting to hot glue feathers and glitter to it.
But I'm not mad about it.
I'm the kind of freak that gets a warm fuzzy feeling out of being artsy/crafty/imagination-y.
Whether it's making a dragon for my roommate Samantha's 4th grade classroom...
Or making a gift for my friend Lauren as she moves to Chicago...
Or painting art for my room...
Or thinking of ideas for fundraising events for The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society...
Or just letting my imagination wander while I watch the final Harry Potter movie...
I can't get enough of it.
I've said it before and I'll say it again.
I'm 12.
In light of this phase, I want to share my latest digital creation.
I lust over typography art and the like.
So I tried it.
What do you think?
I really like it for my first try.
I want to print it on thick glossy poster paper at Kinkos and hang it in our "basement" aka "party room" aka "pool room" aka "beer pong room" aka "workout room" aka "hide from tornados room".
We have a lot of ideas for that room apparently.
Maybe I'll take a pic when it's up for good!



Monday, August 1, 2011

sentimental

I've been a busy girl in this new townhouse!
Assembling kitchen tables and chairs with my roomies.
Buying white ceramic elephant bookends for my desk.
Hanging art and picture frames.
Making pillows.
Buying iron keys.
Painting geometric art pieces to match my room.
But most of what I've been doing is brainstorming.
Finding inspiring ideas for wonderful little things to place on "the big wall" in my room.
I want to make a collage wall.
Filled with pictures, quotes, mirrors, keys, canvases, crosses, frames, etc.
And I think it's coming along! I'm going to actually make this happen.
not just lust over other people's walls on pinterest 
And the other day I decided to get really sappy...
and I found my graduation notes/cards from last year...
and I scanned, edited, and printed my favorite tidbits from my family and from Wes...
and I decided I want to frame them and put them on my wall.
I know.
I have a sensitive side?
Weird.
But here are the pieces from my Mom, Dad, and Wes.
(possibly more to come from others)


From Dad


From Mom


Obviously, From Wes







And YES, I realize Wes' is quite long but he's a man of few words and when it comes to love letters that don't involve some sort of apology...this is the best I have. And I do think it's quite sweet :)
Anyway, just thought I'd share because I really love my idea.
Not to brag.
But I'm going to love looking at my wall and being reminded of how blessed I am to have these people in my life.
I'll post pictures when "the big wall" is done.
But let's be honest...I won't be able to finish it without some advice from my Mom on where to place everything and some handywork from my Dad.
I know, I'm 23.
I could do it on my own.
But I like their expertise, okay?



Tuesday, July 26, 2011

challenge accepted!

If I could spend my whole day searching for DIY projects, craft inspirations, and decor ideas...I would.
Oh wait.
I do that.
With work spread intermittenly throughout the day! I promise!
So today I was virtually challenged by the wonderful gal from Young House Love to actually create something I've pinned on Pinterest.
And whadyaknow?
I already did that today!
Here's the original post that I pinned...






And here's my version! Challenge accepted and completed.


Now it's onto the next project.
I love Pinterest.
But I'm just as guilty as anyone of pinning things and never doing them!
So my mood board is posted up in my room and I'm ready to tackle the projects I found.
Thanks for the challenge girls. 
Can't wait to get crafty.

what are you doing RIGHT now?

I was thinking today that if someone actually asked me what I was "up to" or what I'm doing now...
I could answer!
So, in light of having a life for the first time in a while...
Here are the ins and outs of the goings ons.

1. I'm working for Dubarry and I love my new job!
2. I'm getting settled into a brand new townhome and I love that too!
3. I'm saying goodbye to one of my very dearest girlfriends (Lauren) and my best friend/boyfriend (Wes) and I don't like it one little bit. I actually hate it.
4. I'm crafting. Constantly.
5. I'm sending love to California for my new baby nephew, Rome.
6. I'm reading Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince.
7.  I'm listening to country music. What? Really? Yes.
8. I'm trying to be healthier post the "eat all the crappy food left in the fridge/pantry 'cause we're moving out" phase.
9. I'm not getting a tan and I'm pissed off.
10. I'm thinking my friends are really quite humorous.

So, yeah, I'm doing some stuff and it makes for a pretty full little Lexington life.
What are you up to?

Monday, July 11, 2011

When in Rome...

7.11.11
Is today.
Is it just me or does that date just look...cool and impressive?
And it's definitely lucky.
ESPECIALLY...
when its my new baby nephew's birthday!
Welcome to the world Rome Michael Valpredo.
You are loved by many many people.
I can't wait to meet you and watch you grow up.
I'm the fun young aunt, just so you know.

Hugs, Kisses, and Lots of Love from Kentucky!
Congratulations Valpredo family!

Saturday, July 9, 2011

In defense of...why I only have 8 friends




I can count my friends on 2 hands.
And this…is why

I don’t want to knock my generation or my gender by saying this…
Well, obviously I kinda do.
But I’ve been thinking for a while that there is a pretty quality list of reasons why I only made and kept a handful of girlfriends in college. Like, I only have 8 of them at the most.
And that’s stretching it across all the states of the US of A people.
Why you might ask?
Girls are too needy.
Needy leads to emotional.
Emotional leads to drama.
Drama leads to being catty and petty.
And so on and so on…….
AND - - - - - - -
Girls also get SO obsessed with boys at such a young age and that just leads to full blown whore-hood by age 20.
Not my jam.
I could probably end this now because those are 2 reasons enough to stay clear of most girls, right?
But humor me.
So by the time you get to college your peer-group is full of train-wrecks.
To delve further…these girls are also split into 2 groups…overly cocky and self absorbed or depressingly insecure and self absorbed.
And neither group is a barrel of sunshine.
Therefore, If I had to guess, I would say the percentage of normal, emotionally stable girls with a smidge of confidence, morals, and decency in the 18-22 age group at any given time is about 3%.
THREE FREAKING PERCENT!
And I suppose while meeting people and making friends in college I could have just looked past the traits of the majority of girls out there and chosen to be friends anyway, if only just to have a big group of betches to hang out with on the weekends.
But I said…NAY!
And here is why:
Listening to “Jess” justify why her 34 hook-ups with guys in the same pledge class of the oh so popular douchey-and-questionably-gay-but-have-a-lot-of-money fraternity is completely legitimate and will totally score her a date to the fall formal in Hilton Head and then segwaying into why “Lizzie” is so embarrassing because she got blackout on 5 shots of KG last night and basically begged “Colin” to take her to formal but everyone knows she’s been eating way too much sorority house food to be seen in a bikini so he’ll never take her…is quite possibly the most horrible 5 minutes of anyone’s life.
That…….or listening to and watching hundreds of girls pretend to be Mary Kate & Ashley or other generic “hippie-esque” celebrities. Either is quite literally torture a la 2011.
And clearly I could have just zoned out.
I could have attentively listened and then said a prayer after.every.single.conversation.
I could have succumbed to peer pressure and joined in.
I could have been a better person and given her advice or steered her in a better direction.
I could have changed the subject.
You get the point.
I had other options. I know that.
But it wasn’t worth the dedication. It wasn’t worth having to claim these girls as my friends just to have a bigger number of friends. It wasn’t worth wanting to bang my head against the wall.
It wasn’t worth it in college when I was busy developing friendships with my now best friends and it’s not worth it now when I’m a year out of college and still plan on making friends throughout my adult life. (I hope!?)
Just because it’s not formal season anymore and “Jess” is now “Jessica” and works in “PR” for the local bowling alley…doesn’t mean she’s changed.
She’s still an insufferable disaster of a female.
So my dear readers, I stick to my main wolfpack and carry on with my head held high, keeping an eye out for those other rare jems that might be a quality addition to the pack.
I can say with full confidence and pride that my friends are intelligent, unique, interesting, entertaining, clever, caring, beautiful girls…and they all seem to have some sort of morals.
Kinda…
((((OMGZ, JK gurlz))))
In all seriousness, I’d take 8 of them standing by me through thick and thin and adding something meaningful to my life ANY DAY over dozens of girls who are an embarrassment to our gender but make me look “supa cool" when I roll 20 deep.
Not me.
Not this girl.
8 is great.
The end.



and sometimes when i can't sleep...

I found this tonight.
Why is this so fascinating to me?
Oh well, who knows.
Enjoy it!

Monday, June 6, 2011

braggin'

I just can't help myself.
So I'm going to share the link to some beautiful pictures of my sister and my niece and nephew.
So precious. I just melted :)
What a great photographer!
ENJOY.
crossing my fingers I can visit them this summer when baby #3 arrives!!


Saturday, May 28, 2011

we interrupt this program...

To confess that I suck at blogging.
Sorry ladiez & gents.
I'm totally kidding about the gents part.
Boys don't read blogs.
But I felt the need to apologize for my absence.
I know I suck.
I'm working on not sucking.
I'll be back soon.
Love you.
Probably.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

weird wednesday is back with a vengeance

It's back.
With a whole new crop of weird.
At some point surely I'll get called out for making fun of these facebook "friends" since my blurring isn't exactly what you'd call fool proof buuuut until that day, enjoy the weirdness.
Afterall, I'm just sharing what they already professed to the world.



Not blatantly offensive or annoying.
It's just, since when did it become necessary to announce every thing you put in your mouth?
3 million other people had a pastry or some sort of sugary treat and coffee for breakfast.
So why should we care that you did too?
Stupid overshare.


Ditto homie.
Lets all buy our shit right here in the US of A.



hahahahahaha.
Poor Ohio.


Screw you.
Birds suck.
Don't save them.


My alma mater is lame-o.


You are confused. 
It will not fall in your lap.
But I'm glad you think so.
 Less competition in the world.


And that, my friends is Weird Wednesday.
I'm back on the schedule.

Monday, May 16, 2011

spring break 2011

When you're feeling like a little a pick-me-up.
And the nearest beach is no where in sight.
And you're in need of some fun.
Just head on down to Richmond, KY.
Or as I like to call it...Rich City.
Full of all the finest things life has to offer.
Bras hang from the ceiling of the local tavern...
left behind by the ladies who spun the famous wheel of shots a few too many times.
The tunnel will lead you around the bend.
To a bar where you can dance on an empty dance floor.
And harken back to the days of Britney Spears famous chair routines.
And how can we forget all the bombs!
Green, blue, red.
Watch as your wildest dreams come alive.
In Rich City you can find it all.
So, the 2502 girls strolled on down for a little weekend getaway.
Spring Break 2011...if you will.
And we WILL return soon.
Thank you Richmond, KY for 14 hours I'll never forget!


Friday, April 29, 2011

i'll take it?


While working in the Dubarry booth at the Rolex event yesterday a wonderful thing happened.
Completely inaccurate.
Crazy.
But wonderful.
A woman told me I looked like Kate.
Thank you for making my day you crazy broad.
I disagree.
But I will GLADLY take it as a compliment.
hehe
But really, she's gorgeous.
They are a precious couple.
And their wedding was magical.
I hope my big day is just as special :)

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

but where is the popcorn? why is it gone?

So since I've been scrounging for money lately I've been doing a weeeee bit of child rearing.
Okay, not really.
I'm not actually "child rearing" as in raising any children.
Or rearing any children.
Which sounds a lot like kicking them.
But I am a little closer to doing that.
Just kidding.
I'm just babysitting a lot.
And so today's story is about the under 9 crowd.
It's about to get wild up in this blog.
So hold onto your macbooks.

Top 10 Questions Children Ask Me
1) Why?
2) But Mommy lets me so can't you let me? 
(okay, just because Mommy lets you stand there while she pees or jump on her nicely made bed or go through her purse or get out every boardgame and switch all the pieces doesn't mean I will. Believe me, Mommy only lets you because sometimes Mommy wants you to shut up.)
3) Can we/you do it again?
(Probably not. After the 16th time I let you jump on my back from your bunk bed and realized you were simultaneously drooling on my hair I decided this game was not only humiliating but also ov-er. Please follow me to the couch where we will watch a Disney movie in its entirety. Thank you)
4) Why?
(I usually answer this one about 5 to 10 times with sweet appropriate responses until I just have to say...BECAUSE!..and then I realize how glad I am that I don't have children yet)
5) Is enter favorite television show on tv right now? How about now? Why isn't it on? Will it be on next? Is it recorded? Why isn't it recorded? etc. etc. etc.
(Umm just because it's 2011 and you are smarter than me with electronics and you totally comprehend and know the meaning of DVR at age 2 doesn't mean that every television show Nick Jr. ever coughed up is ready to be fired up at your demand. Can we say mini diva? Also, the fact that you have DVR and I don't just makes me want to puke. Go use your imagination already.)
6) Please? (yes, this can be a question)
(This one requires a lot of apologetic "No's" because the kid is usually under the impression that saying please means automatic/immediate acquisition of what they want. ha! Sorry babers, you should learn now that life isn't that easy.)
7) Where is my enter favorite toy that is COMPLETELY lost?
(Do I look like I live here? This toy is probably in the car, at grandma's, at school, or in the trash. And of course, the kid hasn't thought about it for weeks and chooses until right now to ask where it is. Sometimes I have to ask...why me??)
8) Why?
(And occasionally my response to this is....Why not? Why are you blonde? Why is the sky blue? Why are you still awake? Why am I here? Why don't you come with instructions? Why why why?)
9) Can I do it myself? (usually something they are completely incompetent of doing themselves)
(I know I know, I have to let them try. But sometimes when I've let the munchkin attempt to stab the pea with the fork 43 times...I have to intervene. They inevitably scream. But I usually bribe them with tv or junk food)
10) Do you have games on your phone?
(NO! "Please" don't rub it in...okay? Plus, do you really think if this phone was smart enough to have games on it that I would risk letting you use it? Nada little one. Nada)

I have to say, babysitting really doesn't irk me that bad. 
The kids I sit for are really hilarious and I have a lot of fun with them. 
But kiddos in general are crazy and I swear I don't know how my sister or these stay-at-home Mamas hang out with them all day every day.

May God bless them all.


Monday, April 18, 2011

no words

I'm so happy to have found this.
I had to share.
LOVE!




Tuesday, April 12, 2011

am i right or am i right?

I'm a copycat. I warned you in my blog description above. 
I do everything my friends do.
Yes, if they were jumping off a bridge...I'd probably want to join.
Although their regular influence usually involves me giving into going to Tin Roof at inappropriate times...
So that's my disclaimer to this post.
Today I want to talk about roommates.
J recently wrote an article for this super cool website about living with people.
I haven't read it yet but so far her writing has been extremely clever and brutally honest so I'm sure this piece will not disappoint. Especially considering she has plenty of hellish, hilarious, and insane material to work with...
And so do I.
Some of our experiences overlap.
Some do not.
I will outline the ones that J didn't experience or won't mention.
(So make sure to read her article too)
I personally have run the gamut on roommate experiences.
From sober Sally to desperate wannabe to completely and perfectly normal to definition of psycho to disgusting and dysfuntional...and everywhere in between.


I mean, you enroll in college and you've heard all of the pros and cons from "It'll be the best 4 years of your life" to "You don't know what an all-nighter means until your first exam week" to "Don't live with a friend, live with a random" to "Get involved right away or your screwed" to "Don't live on North Campus" to "Try to stay 5 years" to "You gotta join ___ sorority" and if you're me...you just wanna get there and try to forget as much of high school as possible.
ALSO if you're me...you choose not to live with your very best friend because you both know you'd kill each other. 
So you live with a good friend instead.
MISTAKE numero uno.
The risk of living with a random is worth it.
You should not live with a friend. Ever.
I have the most love and respect for this girl now.
She has her life together more than I do...to say the least.
But at the time...oh sweet mama jamma.
Let's roll out our first stereotype of roommates.
The I-Have-A-Boyfriend-Who-Doesn't-Go-Here-And-I'm-Picking-Out-A-Ring-But-We're-Never-Gonna-Make-It girl.
There are 34,921 of these freshmen girls at every college. 
They talk to their boyfriend for hours every night.
And sometimes they just put each other on speaker phone while they watch tv or listen to each other fall asleep.
They make him visit every weekend.
And they barely leave the room.
Even when you're trying to get dressed in a 6X8 room after your shower.
They can't even take their Mr. Snuggly Buggly Bear to the cafeteria for 30 minutes while you try to get ready to go out because you have a life.
They make your dorm smell like body odor and inexperienced sex.
They let him eat all of your food.
Including your strategically hidden beer & vodka.
They tell you to be quiet when your drunk ass comes in at 3 a.m. after one of the best nights of your life.
They live like a slob because they're so preoccupied with planning their never-gonna-happen wedding.
They pretend to care more about school than you do as an excuse as to why they haven't made any friends. But really it's because they're always reminiscing with their baby/boo/hunny about high school memories and how the distance between them is torture.
They are the most jealous person on the earth.
And their boyfriend, in turn, is the most controlling person on the earth.
If they're not cooing to their loser boyfriend...they're having a massive fight about nothing.
And your ears are trained to tune a lot of stuff out...but the sound of her voice going in and out of bitch mode alternated with sobbing/pitiful mode is not something any human can ignore.
Like a baby cow being sucked down a garbage disposal.
They royally try to suck the life out of your freshmen year and if you're not careful...it might just work.
Ya feel me?
Way too many girls are like this at 18 years old.
Needless to say, they broke up.
My advice...live with a random for the love of all things holy.
Even if she's from the back woods of Kentucky or a hole in the ground in Germany, you can always use your experience as a "real world application" for your Anthropology class and chalk it up to "a weird year" instead of "the year my friend proved to me that she puts the lewd in ludicrous."


So you survive your year in the dorms. And then you make a plan with some friends to live in an apartment or a house or whatever overpriced P.O.S. place you can find.
Or...if you're me...
There are very very few options that are in Mom and Dad's price range.
So you choose the apartment complex with the workout room and the pool.
Naturally.
And they only have 4-bedroom units.
Well, you have 2 people you really want to live with.
So that makes 3 of you.
Shit.
Everyone else has either transferred back home.
Or is moving into their sorority house.
Or is a few notches too crazy to actually live with.
So you pick an acquaintance's girlfriend.
She seems clean.
She goes to church.
She's a good egg, right?
Oh yeah.
She's the Too-Sober-Too-Pure-Too-Perfect-Judgy-Wudgy-Was-A-Bear roommate.
She doesn't like you to drink either.
Again?
But not 'cause she's jealous and friendless.
Because she thinks you're an alcoholic and will probably burn in Hell.
Well at least you have 4 bedrooms so everyone has their own space.
And it's really not that bad.
And your new college best friend is there to ease the pain. And she's normal and hilarious.
So it's survivable.
But then your other roommate, a high school friend that has remained a friend because you didn't live together...gets her nipples pierced and starts dating an old man from your hometown and decides she's transferring home after the Fall semester.
Shit 2.0
So...
the Too-Sober-Too-Pure-Too-Perfect-Judgy-Wudgy-Was-A-Bear roommate brings in the Too-Sober-Too-Pure-Too-Perfect-Judgy-Wudgy-Was-A-Bear best friend to take your high school buddy's spot.
So now you've got 2 normal college kids who like to drink a little and kiss their boyfriends but still get their shit done...living with 2 Articles of God's Perfection.
Shit 3.0
And I'll be honest...it was fine.
But when we stole an old door out of the dumpster to make a beer pong table or had a cookout with my sorority sisters or came back after football tailgates or had Tequila Tuesday...you could cut the tension in that tiny apartment with a knife.
Keep it simple.
Live with people exactly like you.

I was going to include my experiences with my favorite roomies but this is getting long so...you know who you are. And I still love you. Way to be perfect :)

Lastly, this experience is actually borrowed.
This girl lived in the sorority house with us.
But not in my room.
Me and J's room was pure excellence.
This little gem earned the nickname "Karen" and she lived with one of our best friends.
You know "Karen" right?
As in, Dane Cook comedy.
As in, "Karen, the friend that nobody likes"
Or in this case...the roommate that nobody likes.
And again, in this chick's defense...she has a group of friends now who love her dearly and I'm sure she's a lot different than she was as a sophomore.
But, flattery is not the point of this story.
Karen, the roommate that nobody could like...
She's pretty. She's popular with the boys. She likes to go out. She's a girly girl. She loves the sorority.
But, she's self-absorbed.
Not the brightest crayon in the box.
Had just a little too much hairspray go to the brain.
And has the attention span of a 3 month old.
And did I mention she's self-absorbed?
You know the color and size of her junior year prom dress.
But she has no idea what town you grew up in and quite possibly doesn't know your last name.
Poor poor person that lives with her.
It's hard enough being her friend.
Let alone sharing a closet, television, floor space, and bedroom...
Maybe the moral of the story is that after about age 12...it's just not fun to share a room with anyone.

Thankfully almost everyone has to go through these trials in college and eventually you gain the wisdom and talent of telling a great roommate from a total wreck.
And it makes for a good story to tell the kids.
Or in this case...the 4 people that read your blog...