Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Love Letter

I think a lot of bloggers do this thing where they write letters on Fridays.
But I'm not really a blogger.
So I'm writing some letters memos post-it-note-sized-thoughts to some important people on a Tuesday at 1:29 am.
Can you say rebel?

Dear Sean Lowe (The Bachelor), You make my Monday nights go 'round you big aryan hunk o' beef.  The way you shamelessly flaunt those abs like your middle name is The Situation.  The way you awkwardly almost laugh your way into every sentence.  The way you squeeze yourself into those Old Navy waldo-worthy board shorts circa 1997 for a little hot tub action.  You sir are reality tv gold and I cannot get enough. Thank you Sean's parents and thank you ABC.
In all seriousness I adore him and hope he finds love on the show. But...nobody's watching for that anymore.

Dear new year's resolution-ers, I applaud you. Seriously. You have the spirit of a unicorn and I find you amazing and inspiring. You really believe that 2013 is the year you'll shed that baby weight that's been sticking around for a few decades.  You're powering it out on the eliptical machine at a whopping level 3 for 45 minutes twice a week! You've completely cut out Twizzlers and Sunny D...probably even (gasp!) Hot Pockets.  However...we all know you're full of s**t.  By March you'll be catching up on your DVR elbow deep in a bag of Hot Fries.  So why dont you just cut your losses, cancel your gym membership, and take that $25 straight to Target for some Spanx instead. It's too hot in there with all you people milling around and I need my space when spastically kickboxing and burpee-ing my face off in class.  Please?  

Dear Economy, By now you know you're on my s**t list.  I graduated in 2010 and I'm not even famous or a millionaire yet.
But seriously.
You're getting on my last nerve. Shape up or shut up. I didn't really expect to get laid off twice before I turned 25. And it's fine. Because I've convinced my self that I'm a badass and that this is just funemployment that I'll fondly look back on and laugh one day (ha-mother-freaking-ha-ha).  But time is running out. Homegirl needs to pay some bills. So please...be a doll and cough up a job or seven for me by next month.

Dear bloggers all ova da worrrrrld, Yall make Facebook look like such a dweeb.  I can't believe I used to spend so much time on there creeping on people I kinda know.  Stalking you people is supremely more entertaining and addicting.  Your jokes, your selfies, your DIY projects, your incredible life stories that make me feel like a loser get off the couch and at least think about doing something, your style, your tips, your product reviews, your makeup tutorials, your vlogs, and most of all...your giveaways. Thank you blog to the gerz. You really are the best and I have so much fun reading! Wanna be friends?

Friday, January 11, 2013

Style Scrounge-Up

Disclaimer: What you are about to read/see is a very pathetic attempt to join the elite club
that is the fashion blogging world.
From a Kentucky girl.
With no money.
And no fancy camera.
Sit down, everyone. I know you're excited.

Actually what happened is...............
I was Facebook stalking myself (what? you don't do that?) and started to feel super lame that most of the pictures of me suck so I was determined to find a few diamonds in the rough. Surely I looked nice...like twice since 2010 right?
By the way...are the rest of you working for Facebook as models?
You with your gorgeous smiles and sassy hair and fantastic lighting and clear un-filtered photos?
Where's the tutorial on this?
Until one of you shares your secrets...this is what you get.

A quick look at some of my favorite outfits over the past few years.
Hold your horses.

Dress: Judith march
Bag: Steve Madden from TJMaxx
Location: Keeneland
Drink: Vodka, soda, & lime
Bet: Winning!

Dress: Francescas
Dog: Jibbles Jellison, the bourbon-and-coke drinking wonder dog
Location: Chicago!

Dress: Express (I know, right?)
Shoes: Steve Madden from Dillards
Location: Chicago (NYE last year)

really really awkward photo of me attempting to be a limbo bar...I'm sorry...

Dress: Diane Von Furstenberg from the Neiman's Outlet
Shoes: Aldo
Bangle: Lexington boutique, Bluetique
Location: Katie's wedding

Dress: Lexington boutique, Monkees
Bangle: Lexington boutique, Bluetique
Tan: care of my addiction to the sun
Location: my old house before going to Thursday Night Live

Skirt and shirt: Lexington boutique, Bluetique
Shoes: (OLD) Michael Kors
Hat: Badgley Mishka from Dillards
Bangle: Lexington boutique, Bluetique 
Location: My old house before traveling to Louisville for Derby

Heyo - repeat skirt appearance and...is that the same bangle I see? I'm the worst...

Skirt: Lexington boutique, Bluetique
Top: Cynthia Rowley from TJMaxx
Shoes: Chinese Laundry
Bangle: Y'all know the drill by now (2012 was the year of the bangle for this gal)
Location: My current apartment before Keeneland

So there. That's my attempt at playing catch up as a fashion blog.
Do I get to join your club now?
Well...once I master the selfie...that no-teeth-showing smile, sparkling off-to-the-side eyes, carefree leg cross, and cutesy head cock...you'll want me fashion bloggers. You'll want a piece of this.

In the meantime let's do a little roundup of these photos:
1. Somebody loves black and white
2. Somebody loves their gold bracelet
3. Somebody always poses with one hand on hip (also known as...somebody thinks this makes their arms look skinnier)
4. Somebody loves dresses
5. Somebody (okay, it's me) was either already drinking or on her way to drink in every. single. picture.

And on that note...I'll bid you...CHEERS!
It might be 10:45 am but it's Friday and if Kathie Lee and Hoda have taught me anything...it's that drinking in the morning is the best way to start your day.

Monday, January 7, 2013

Happy New Year!

Happy 2013 ladies.
I hope everyone had a fabulous Christmas and New Years.
I spent 2 weeks with my family and spent NYE in Chicago with my best friends.
I can't imagine spending the end of the year any other way :) :)
So...lets talk about What's IN and What's OUT for 2013. At least for moi.

Getting a job/Keeping a job
Taking more classes at the gym
Taking more fashion risks
Reading lots of books
Celebrating life's big and small moments
UK Basketball
UK Football
The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, Bachelor Pad (always)
Getting more involved at church
Visiting friends
Spending time on the beach
DIY projects

Getting sick 
Getting laid off from jobs (booooo)
Being lazy
Naked fingernails
Kesha & Adele (I'm sorry but I'm over it)
Jersey Shore 
Being addicted to technology (boyfriend I'm looking at you - but I've been guilty of it too)
Fast food
Sleeping with makeup on (eek!)

I've made a decision.
That 2013 is going to be my best year ever!
I'm due.
And there's no reason it can't be :)

Have any resolutions or hopes for this year?
What's in for you? Out?